discipline for a 9-month old???

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discipline for a 9-month old???

Post  kat on Tue Jul 29, 2008 10:28 pm

So Jake has just turned 9-months old and we are seeing some big changes.

The 9-month sleep regression, lots of teething (like four at once), and he is super active - crawling, pulling up, pulling things off shelves, pulling tissues out of the box and then ripping them up and he seems to be whining a lot lately. All normal I'm guessing.

Anyway the other day we were at the hospital and while we were waiting I put Jake down in the kiddy play area and everyone has to take their shoes off. He doesn't wear shoes yet, but he proceeded to crawl over to everyone else's shoes and throw them around. Those poor toddlers didn't know what to do. I know he's a little baby, so I usually just go over and remove him from the situation. I like to let him explore as much as possible just as long as he's not hurting anyone else and doesn't put himself in danger.

My question is 'should we start saying NO'? Explaining why he shouldn't do things? Isn't he a bit young for all that? Although lately I think he's got that knowing look in his eyes....'let's test this a little bit and see how mama reacts' look.

Via Ask Moxie, I found the http://www.proactiveparenting.net/our_philosophy website and it looks great, but even their first seminar starts at age one. I'm thinking that Jake will be taking part in a lot more destruction before he turns one!!!
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Re: discipline for a 9-month old???

Post  dumplingrrl on Mon Aug 04, 2008 9:43 pm

I remember starting to tell Mari no at about that age, when she started becoming mobile and able to get-herself-in-to/create trouble. I just tell her firmly 'No' (or rather like 'nooooooo' as I rush towards another baby-made disaster area) and then remove her from the situation and distract her with another toy or something. I'm not sure if she understands me or not yet, but the idea is that it's more for me. So I can practice disciplining her and get her used to what 'no' means. I feel like too often my brain just glazes over as I watch her rip up the newspaper, or pull books off the shelf. If I don't start saying no now, I'm afraid both of us will become used to just letting her have her way and clean up afterwards. The firm no and removal usually works and if she starts wailing then a new toy or a quick visit to the window is enough to distract her.
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Re: discipline for a 9-month old???

Post  putyourflareon on Tue Aug 05, 2008 1:10 am

I save "no" for really dangerous moments like the going near our stove or trying to unplug our tv. Usually when Maximilien is into something that he should not be I use the distraction method and say things like, "Max, let's play over here... these don't belong to you." It works very well for us. I have several friends who have kids around the same age as Max (16 months) give or take a month or two and all of them say, "No" to their parents. The kids that is... like they will ask them to do something or take soemthing away and the kids start rattling off "no no no". I know that a couple of my friends really do say "No" a lot and in return their kids say "No" back.

My method is my own... My husband and I have noticed that he does not say "No". It is not a word in his vocabulary. He says, "Yes", "Oui" a lot. Smile

When I do use the "No", mostly because he wants to play with out stove (old, gas stove) and I bellow out a low "Nooo". Max stops in his tracks and turns to look at me and I have a serious look on his face. I usually have something I can distract him with. Bowl and spoon. or a toy. He he walks over and takes them and doesn't put up a fight.
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great advice!

Post  knitterista on Tue Aug 05, 2008 2:03 pm

Aimee, that’s excellent. I was just saying to my husband this weekend that we say “no” too much…it ends up being every other word since Flynn is getting into everything he shouldn’t at this stage of his life…and it ain’t gettin’ better I’m sure. And, we wondered, is there a more productive way to use the word “yes” instead? We will start using your technique immediately! Love it!
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Re: discipline for a 9-month old???

Post  kat on Tue Aug 05, 2008 7:21 pm

Yep that is great advice - I really don't want to be saying 'no' all the time either. Jake is especially attracted to cords and electrical outlets - why oh why!!! We have them all plugged up and try to put away as many cords as possible, but still....the other day he found a popsicle stick and was kind of trying to put it in the outlet (it was covered up though) - I was horrified!!
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Re: discipline for a 9-month old???

Post  pixiepurls on Thu Aug 07, 2008 5:28 pm

we always say no, but we only say it once and then remove her from whatever. I know she won't respond to no yet, because she doesn't. But I will keep using my method until she gets it. I say "no, thats not nice" or "no, don't touch that" etc and remove her. Sometimes she hardly notices I remove her from a situation, other times she arches her back and throws a little tantrum.. most of the time she can be distracted from that by my picking up something more interesting. I don't want to be saying "no bno nono no" and overkill or YELLING no, so I always say it very calm, and firm and remove. I have no idea if this will work but I like to think so lol

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Re: discipline for a 9-month old???

Post  putyourflareon on Thu Aug 14, 2008 2:53 pm

kat wrote:Yep that is great advice - I really don't want to be saying 'no' all the time either. Jake is especially attracted to cords and electrical outlets - why oh why!!! We have them all plugged up and try to put away as many cords as possible, but still....the other day he found a popsicle stick and was kind of trying to put it in the outlet (it was covered up though) - I was horrified!!

The cords!! I know, I don't know what they keep going towards the cords. We can't move our living room around because we have it set up so Max can't get to anything but the tv plug.

It's really amazing how much we say no. I made a conscious effort to realize how much I say no and I was saying it a lot. I read this book called Positive Discipline, The First Three Years by Jane Nelsen, Cheryl Erwin & Roslyn Ann Duffy. Which had some great positive ideas for approaching discipline. A lot of distraction and asking questions that give the child a choice. I have now started asking Max like when he's tired and he's kinda acting crazed and is fighting sleep. I will ask him do you want your dou dou or do you want do you want Daddy? Dou dou is his comfort toy for sleeping, and he says dou dou almost all the time. I choose two things he knows and let him choose. This is a very basic choice for him. Either one would equal bed but I could tell that instead of forcing him to do something and letting him choose made things go a lot smoother.
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